You’ve Got WHAT KIND of Milk

Hello folks, let’s chat…I don’t know if we can blame it on the season and these rising temperatures, but I’m drowning in straight running crazy stories and nekkid news. Think what you want to about global warming, but global crazy is a thing.  If you’re eating and/or have a weak stomach, I’m sorry, but you need to know there are people among us extolling the health benefits of drinking cockroach milk. Let that sit. I had to. Cockroach. Milk.

They say cockroach milk has four times the protein of cow’s milk, and it’s very similar in taste. Right. Reminds me of the time the state of Louisiana tried to control the growing population of swamp rats by using their given name and trying to get ‘em onto our menus. They said nutria tasted like chicken, but We the People said, “We’ll pass.” I’m guessing someone has a roach problem and has decided to lie like a rug.

I told my beloved farmer people were drinking cockroach milk and the man got deadly serious. “You have me drinking almond milk,” he said. “But that’s where it stops.” Ok, then. I don’t know why Phil thought he needed a line in the sand, but I’m on his side of it.

I saw one headline that read, “What must happen for cockroach milk to become a super food trend?” My first thought was that a certain lake of fire would have to freeze over, but then I remembered some folks have been eating laundry pods and taking laxatives to get high. I suppose it could happen. The Got Cockroach Milk craze, not the H-E-Double L cold snap.

Therefore, I offer you my closing thoughts along with my research conclusions. You’ll need to milk a lot of roaches to have a bowl of cereal, and you can’t hook up just any old roach. Apparently, the Japanese Beetle Roach is the only breed that makes magic milk. But, hey, knock yourselves out, cutting edge type health nuts. Just don’t cry in your cockroach milk when you flip on the lights and your kids run under the furniture. I’m gonna have to say I told you so.

Hugs, Shellie

P.S. I simply must share something mighty pertinent with y’all. As someone who used to put up cream corn (also known as heavenly manna) by hand and knife, this little invention has rocked my world the last couple of years. The beloved farmer and I recently creamed 300 ears in one afternoon. Oh, yes we did! Insert a drill bit into the ear of corn and buzz those beautiful kernels right off! We got ours at our local Farmer’s Supply. I’m including a pic so you can trace one down!