Recycling the Straight Running Crazy Way

Hello folks, let’s chat…Last week we were talking about false teeth and family bonding when we ran slap out of time. I said I had another story for y’all, remember? Well, get ready. This may be yesterday’s news to the rest of the world. If so, humor me, but I’ve just learned that there are people who believe in reusing false teeth.

My niece works for a mortuary and she’s seen it with her very own eyes. Not that long ago they were getting set to carry out the body of this woman’s poor deceased mother when the daughter got all budget conscious. She reached in, removed her mother’s false teeth, and announced to no one in particular, “I’m keeping these teeth. There ain’t nothing wrong with ‘em”! By the way, my computer’s spell check is having a hissy for me to correct that double negative, but grammar is the least of my concerns.

I don’t exactly know where to start here. Sissy may be right. There may be nothing wrong with the teeth in and of themselves, but for the life of me I can’t come up with a reason for keeping ‘em that doesn’t make me queasy—and I’ve tried. I considered that perhaps she wanted to keep them as a memento. That would make their family’s curio cabinet a lot more curio than your average collection. Imagine if you will the possible conversations. “And these were Mama’s, bless her heart. She loved to wear these things at Christmas.”

My friend Paulette said it could be a sign of our troubled economy; that Mama’s Girl could be planning to sell them on Ebay. Naturally, that led us to picturing scores of toothless people scouring the Internet for new choppers and reading the reviews. “Look ‘a here, Paw. These folks guarantee next day shipping.”

Paulette and I can’t be the only ones thinking this takes recycling too far, but we’ve got our own little announcement. If this is what it means to go green— y’all can go on without us!

Hugs,
Shellie