Hello folks, let’s chat…As I’m sure you’ve heard, research has proven that women speak twice as many words in a day as their men do. That little fact has been well documented in the news and my own personal experience attests to it. Actually, I’m pretty sure my darling husband doesn’t even use his full male quota. He’s truly a man of few words. Phil would probably tell you this has served him well during our many years together and your happy hostess talks enough for both of us. These things may be true, but they don’t explain why the man can get in twice the trouble with half as many.
For illustration, I give you an account from one of our recent road trips. We were driving merrily down Interstate 20 when I mentioned that I wanted an item from the back seat. For reasons Phil still can’t explain he suddenly quipped, “Well, climb your big booty back there and get it.”
Every female listening heard the three letter word in that sentence that spelled trouble for my man.
“Big?” I asked, with a would you like to reconsider that remark look on my face.
In Phil’s defense I think he really did want to reconsider it but the whole thing got him tickled. In between giggles he tried to explain that it was just a saying and it didn’t mean a thing. Whatever. Being the gracious one, I’ll move on. Phil’s foot in mouth moment reminds me of a good funny and life is better when you’re laughing anyway. Amen?
Two women were having coffee when the first one said, “My husband thinks menopause is making me moody. He bought me something called a Menopause Mood Ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.”
Her friend raised her eyebrows, “Does it work?”
“You could say that,” the woman replied. “We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. And when I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.”
Poor fellow, he should’ve stuck with diamonds.