My Man and I — We Can’t Hear Them Now

Hello folks, let’s chat… My man and I have access to something like a gazillion television channels. We watch five, at the most. If our TV isn’t on the news or a sporting event, and we aren’t watching Duck Dynasty, chances are it’s on the Outdoor Channel or Food Network. This is because we prefer to take out our trash instead of being entertained by it.

And because the shows that are left confuse us. I don’t mean to go all Mayberry on you, but we miss the slower paced shows. Take last night, for instance. My hard-working farmer pulled under the carport about the same time I made it in from my live radio show. I had some of our favorite take-out with me (Hello Catfish Charlie’s!) and it was almost time for one of the few shows we actually try to follow.

“Hey sweetheart,” I said. “Our show is about to come on. You know, the one where we never know what they’re saying because they whisper and we don’t know what’s going on because they switch scenes before we can focus. Yeah, that one.”

In case you didn’t recognize the description, I’m talking about 24 and the counter-terrorist super spy Jack Bauer. Jack is a bad guy’s worst nightmare but Phil and I suspect that he may have been undercover a mite too long because the guy never talks above a whisper. At least, neither of us can hear him over the background noise. But that’s okay. Phil and I are pretty much used to not being in the know. We were late getting aboard the 24 bandwagon the first time it aired. By late, I mean we discovered it the same season they cancelled it.

By the way, I realize there’s an outside chance that some of y’all still may not be fans of this show, and if so, you may have no idea what I’ve been talking about this whole time. That’s okay, too. Any day now I’m expecting a big old Acme safe to drop out of the sky straight onto Jack’s head and it’ll all be over.

Or not.

Hugs, Shellie