Ladies, We’ve Got Trouble

Hello folks, let’s chat… Ladies, belles, countrywomen, lend me your ears. We’ve got trouble. A group of experts claim to have proof that we are our men’s greatest health hazards. Not disease, not stress at work, not even accidents. It’s you and me. We’re nagging them to death.

My man and I were watching the news together when the story broke. Phil tried not to grin. He failed. However, he has since released his own statement that reads, “This study is bogus and the men who conducted it should be ashamed of themselves.” No, I did not have anything to do with that and I don’t know why you would ask.  The news anchor team Phil and I were watching that morning was sharply divided– along gender lines. The female anchor was skeptical but Mister Anchor doubled down. He gave the report considerable airtime and he kept insisting the whole thing was solid science. I wanted to remind him to move on or he and science might be spending the night on the couch.

Let the record show I’ve tried to be objective about this report. I even called Papa for a quote. Papa said the study was nonsense and he would elaborate but Mama needed him to take out the trash and he didn’t want her to have to ask twice. Whatever, Papa.

I also brought it up at a recent speaking engagement to document the audience’s response. As of this writing, I can only conclude that whether or not the claim is valid, there are some from both sides buying into it.

Ironically, the men of the congregation had waited tables for us ladies that evening. Afterwards, they were gathered up at the back of the room listening to my remarks when I brought up these purported correlations between nagging and premature death. One of the ladies twirled around and grinned at her husband. He returned her smile, but I was told that after she turned back around, the man met the eyes of his closest friends and solemnly opined, “Fellows, I’m living on borrowed time.”

Hugs, Shellie