Hello folks, let’s chat…Week in and week out I do my dead level best to try and keep y’all entertained, informed, inspired– and protected. Towards that end, I’m here today with a SRC medical alert.
Longtime listeners will remember that SRC is the acronym I created for Straight Running Crazy, a condition whereby one is no longer detouring from more lucid positions, hence they’ve gone straight running crazy. New listeners can read more about this dangerous condition in my humor books and join our SRC foundation on Facebook. But, I must move on, research has come in to support what I’ve suspected for quite some time. Apparently, stupid really is contagious.
Scientists at John Hopkins Medical School and the University of Nebraska contend that they’ve discovered a virus that makes you stupid. They say it challenges the brain’s thinking functions, affecting spatial awareness and visual processing. And get this, they tested volunteers and found a high percentage of ’em had the stupid virus lying dormant in their throats.
I’d love to know how they selected these volunteers and how they broke the news to the poor souls who flunked out. There’s only so much you can do with that good news/bad news trick.
Don’t freak out on me, y’all, but this explains a lot of what we’re seeing on the evening news. Exhibit A, ripped straight from the headlines: A giant solar plant in California that received a government-backed $1.6-billion dollar loan has gone belly up. So, what are they doing? Applying for a government grant — to help pay off their government loan. Somebody’s not covering their mouths when they cough.
Lookahere, I have some hair-dos in the eighties that would suggest I’ve carried this virus a couple of times myself, but that’s beside the perm. I mean the point. We need to raise awareness and fast. Our struggling job market can’t take another hit. If news gets out, this could be yet another blow to work productivity. I can hear it now. “Sorry, boss. I can’t come in today. I’m feeling stupid.”
Are y’all with me? Let us race for the cure.