I Survived a Road Trip with Mama and Uncle Rod

Hello folks, and welcome! It’s my pleasure to host y’all on the All Things Southern porch. Have a seat and let’s chat…~smile~

You know those vacation t-shirts that say things like “I survived Six Flags.” I may get one made that reads, “I survived a road trip with Mama and Rod.” Rod is my mother’s younger brother. His wife was with us, too, but Carmen never bothers anybody. She mostly rolls her eyes at Rod. We all do.

But, I should elaborate lest you think the trip was boring. Heavens, no! The problem was that we were trying to surprise my sister. We had deceived Rhonda into thinking Mama was driving to Dallas for Bradley’s graduation all by her lonesome because everyone else was too busy to make it. This meant that I was banned from social media lest I give away our secret. The abundance of material floating around me on the way out there, combined with not being allowed to share it via Twitter or Facebook, was both tragic and painful. Some of it remains off limits, but I have been cleared to report certain stories from the trip home.

For instance, Mama caught us up on the latest news from Aunt Marleta. She and Uncle Stan have a brand new home security system. According to Aunt Marleta, it was installed by two kids in elementary school, but we think she could be exaggerating. It runs in our family. Aunt Marleta said one of the poor boys got a bobo while he was there. “Sit there on the toilet, you big weenie,” she told him. “I’ll go find a band-aid.”

Aunt Marleta and Uncle Stan think they’re going to like the new system, if they can learn to program it. She told Mama it came with an instructional video and they’ve been watching it every night like a bad rerun. And on that note, I’ll close now with one last story on the subject of unfortunate repeats.

At one point during the ride home, Mama directed a question at Rod, our comedian/chauffeur.

Mama, “Rod, honey, do we need any gas?”
Rod, “I don’t, Charlotte— been passing it since we left Dallas.”

These are my people. And I adore them.

Hugs,
Shellie