Hello folks, let’s chat…I shot Mama a text, knowing she’d be waiting for a travel update.
“Changing planes in Atlanta,” I wrote, “So far no one has knocked me in the back of the head. But, I’m on guard.”
If Mama caught my good-natured ribbing, she ignored it and typed, “Do you have to walk a long way to catch your next flight? BE CAREFUL and not so friendly!”
I told Mama this wasn’t how she raised me. Mama noted that times have changed and then she reminded me –via emoticon –to reapply my lipstick, which is a new way of conveying her patented advice but goes to show that the more things change the more they stay the same. And that reminds me of another story, but I’ll need to change the names to protect the not so innocent.
Bonnie Kate’s southern mother taught her that a lady should always carry matches in her purse in case it becomes necessary to strike one in a public restroom out of consideration for others.
Granted, they make purse size sprays for such moments now, but at the time of this unfortunate incident, matches were all Bonnie Kate had on hand.
And so it was that when Bonnie Kate heard footsteps approaching, she chose to strike a preemptive match in the middle of, well, her maintenance. I’ll need y’all to fill it in the gaps. We are in public and all.
After dropping the match in the bowl, Bonnie Kate was completing her necessary hygiene when, strangely enough, she felt her bottom end growing warm. Only before she could speculate it went from warm to burning!
Bonnie Kate whirled around to find flames in the bowl shooting towards heaven! We’re talking fire in the hole! Literally.
Bonnie Kate panicked. “Water!” she thought frantically, “I need water!” Desperate seconds ticked off before she realized that water was only a flush away. Crisis averted, a shame faced Bonnie Kate left the facilities walking like a newbie cowboy who wore his chaps too long.
I’m not sure my story has a moral. About the best I can do is to remind you that a wise guy once said, “Be careful giving some people advice. They might take it!”