EBC – Extenuating Bug Circumstances

Hello folks, let’s chat… As head belle scientist here at All Things Southern, I’m in the early stages of documenting a new syndrome. I’m calling this one EBC, Extenuating Bug Circumstances. Like much of my work, my research into EBC began last night with a simple observation. I twittered the following tweet. “Florida man pulled from fire says he accidentally started the blaze trying to burn out bugs in his apartment.” In parenthesis I added, “Well, if we’re talking roaches…” My point, I simply refused to harass the man without knowing the Extenuating Bug Circumstances. EBC will cause a person to consider methods of creating distance from oneself and an offending bug that someone who doesn’t have EBC might consider extreme. Experience speaking.

As noted repeatedly on this porch, I have an extreme aversion to roaches and spiders. I don’t simply dislike them. I wish ill on entire species of God’s creepy things– and they know it.

The other morning I was trying to shower my hair with my one good arm, (you may remember that I broke my right one last month). I was all lathered up when I spotted a gigantic monster spider hovering directly above me on the ceiling. I may or may not be exaggerating about his size but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen smaller purse dogs.

My choices were slim. I couldn’t holler for the beloved hubby. He was gone and I was all alone. I couldn’t climb up the wet tub and swat him cause, a) the broken arm thing and b) I can’t swat ’em without flinching. And yet, I simply hated not being able to keep an eye on him while I rinsed my hair!

In the end, I used my best Clint Eastwood voice to tell him not to move a single one of his eight legs and then I double-timed the rinse job.

I’m just saying, suffering as I do from EBC, a handy dandy torch might have been a temptation. Extenuating Bug Circumstances. I’m not sure it could hold up in court, not yet. But I’m working on it.

Hugs, Shellie