Hello folks, let’s chat… I’m here to warn y’all about the dangers lurking in your own medicine chest. I have two stories for illustration and yes, I feel it best to change their names to protect yours truly. I’m calling them Pastor Boudreaux and Cuzin’ Thibodaux for no other reason than it makes me smile.
One night Cuzin’ Thibodaux woke up in the grip of a bad sinus headache. Trying not to disturb his sweetie, Thibodaux trudged to the bathroom and began rummaging around for something to stop the pain. It looked like he might strike out until—glory be—he found a couple of loose Benadryl in the medicine drawer. Granted, they seemed to be a brighter shade of pink than he remembered, but what the heck.
Sometime thereafter, Thibodaux’s stomach began to roll and he began to moan— which woke up his wife, who in turn investigated and discovered her man had taken two of her Correctol’s. Cuzin’ Thibodaux got some relief that night, just not from his headache.
A similar situation once befell Pastor Boudreaux. He was on a special diet plan that required him to take half a dozen special vitamins throughout the day. Everything was fine until one evening when Boudreaux realized he hadn’t taken any of his meds that day. Pastor Boudreaux made an ill-advised decision and took all six, them being so gentle and all. Again, what the heck, right? Alas, only after consuming them did Pastor Boudreaux discover that he’d taken six fiber laxatives instead of his special vitamins.
In a panic, Pastor Boudreaux called his mama. That makes sense to me as it is, but Pastor Boudreaux’s mama was also a practicing nurse, so there’s that.
After breathlessly telling his story, Pastor Boudreaux got to his most important question. “Mama, just tell me this. Am I going to live?”
“Yes, you’ll live,” Boudreaux’s mama assured her frantic man child. And then she added what proved to be a most prophetic word. “But you’ll want to live close to the bathroom.”
Be careful out there, y’all. Distracted Dispensing happens and the struggle is real. This has been a public service announcement from the Belle of All Things Southern.